Neville Goddard: "The Search" (1946) [FULL BOOK]

Visions of perfection and healing

ONCE, in a sea of anxiety, I was meditating on the «perfect state» and wondering what I would be if I had eyes too pure to see iniquity, if all things were pure to me and I were without condemnation. As I was absorbed in this fervent contemplation, I felt myself rising above the dark realm of sensation. The sensation was so intense that I felt myself a being of fire dwelling in an ethereal body. Voices, as from a heavenly choir, with the exaltation of victors in the struggle against death, sang «He is risen – He is risen,» and I intuitively understood that they meant me.

Then I seemed to be walking in the night. Soon I came upon a scene that might have been the ancient Pool of Bethesda, for in that place lay a great multitude of feeble people—blind, lame, emaciated—waiting not for the movement of the water, as was the custom, but for me. As I drew nearer, without thought or effort on my part, one by one they were healed, as if by a wave of a magic wand. Eyes, hands, feet—all the missing members—appeared from some invisible reservoir and were formed in harmony with the perfection I felt within myself. When all was perfect, the choir cried out joyfully, «It is finished!» Then the vision dissolved, and I awoke.

I know that this vision was the result of my intense meditation on the idea of perfection, for my reflections inevitably bring about a unity with the state I am contemplating. I was so absorbed in this idea that for a time I became what I thought about, and the high purpose with which I identified myself at that moment attracted high images and formed a vision in harmony with my inner nature. The ideal with which we are united works through the association of ideas to awaken a thousand moods and to produce action in accordance with the central idea.

Children's discoveries and connection with the "Big Self"«

I first discovered the intimate connection between mood and inner vision when I was about seven years old. I became aware of a mysterious life that raged within me like a raging ocean of terrible power. I always knew when I would be united with this hidden identity, for my senses would freeze at night in anticipation of these visits, and I knew without a doubt that by morning I would be alone with the infinite. I was so afraid of these visits that I would lie awake until my eyes closed from fatigue. When my eyes closed in sleep, I was no longer alone, but one with another being, and yet I knew that it was I. It seemed older than life itself, yet closer to me than my own childhood.

I realized that my expectant mood worked like a magnet, uniting me with this "Great Self," and my fears made Him like a turbulent sea. As a child I imagined this mysterious "I" as a mighty force, and in my union with Him I felt His greatness like a stormy sea that covered me and then rolled and tossed me like a helpless wave.

When I became a man, I imagined Him as Love and myself as His Son, and in my union with Him I now feel His love! It is a mirror for all. Whatever we imagine Him to be, That is what It is for us.

I believe that This is the center through which all the threads of the universe run; therefore, I have changed my values and beliefs so that they now depend on this one cause of all that exists. For me, it is that unchanging reality that shapes circumstances in harmony with our ideas about ourselves.

The Law of Self-Transformation

My mystical experiences have convinced me that there is no other way to achieve the external perfection we seek except through the transformation of ourselves. Once we manage to change ourselves internally, the world will magically melt before our eyes and be rebuilt in harmony with what our transformation confirms.

I will tell you about two more visions, because they confirm the truth of my thought: through the intensity of love or hate, we become those we contemplate.

The experience of merging with the Light

Once, with my eyes closed, in deep thought, I pondered the eternal question: "Who am I?" and gradually felt myself dissolving in a boundless sea of radiant light; imagination at that moment surpassed any fear of death. In this state, nothing existed except myself - a boundless ocean of liquid light. Never before had I felt such closeness to Being.

Vision of the Living Buddha

Another time I lay in bed, and with my eyes closed, as if in a dream, I pondered the mystery of the Buddha. After a while the dark depths of my mind began to glow. I seemed to be surrounded by luminous clouds, which issued from my head in the form of fiery, pulsating rings. Then a crystal of quartz appeared before my eyes. As I gazed upon it, the crystal broke into fragments, which invisible hands quickly transformed into a living Buddha. Looking at this meditative figure, I saw that it was myself. I was the living Buddha I had been contemplating. A light like the sun emanated from this living image of me with increasing force until it exploded.

The etheric body and the inner world

From what realm or treasury of images did this being, more powerful than man, emerge? If I have seen, heard, and moved in the world of real beings, then I have a right to assume that I have a subtler body than the physical; a body that can be separated from the physical and used in other dimensions. In this earthly form is embedded a body attuned to the world of light, and through intense meditation I have released it, as if by a magnet, through the dark shell of flesh.

I am an immortal being who imagines himself as a human being and creates worlds in the image and likeness of his self-image. We are what we imagine ourselves to be. With our imagination we created this dream of life, and with our imagination we will return to that eternal world of light, becoming who we were before we invented this world.

Consciousness as the only reality

Death has no transforming power. Nothing is more important to us than our self-image. Those who help or hinder us are only the executors of that law which shapes external circumstances in harmony with our inner nature.

The futility of external struggle

Trying to change the world before you change your own perception of yourself is a struggle against the very nature of things. There can be no outward change until there is an inner change. What is within is without.

Everything we do without changing our consciousness is just a vain attempt to touch up the surface. No matter how hard we work or struggle, we cannot get more than our subconscious attitudes confirm.

To protest against what happens to us is to protest against the law of our being and our power over our own destiny.

The nature of transformation and emotions

A transformation of consciousness will lead to a change in environment and behavior. True transformation occurs when the new state becomes so stable that it completely replaces its predecessor.

The influence of love and hate

Love and hate have a magical transformative power. Through the intensity of hatred, we create in ourselves the character we see in our enemies. Qualities die from lack of attention to them, so unpleasant states are best erased by imagining "beauty instead of ashes and joy instead of sorrow," rather than by directly fighting the state from which we want to be free.

«Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just… think about these things» [Philippians 4:8], for we become those with whom we associate in thought.

Waking up from sleep

Humanity is a single being. The images and circumstances we see in dreams are creations of our own imagination. The same applies to the images and circumstances in this waking dream.

The universe is a dream, and we are eternal dreamers. One day we will wake up from this nightmare and learn that we never really left our eternal home; that we were never born or died anywhere except in our dreams.